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Richard Nixon is a no good, lying bastard. He can lie out of both sides of his mouth at the same time, and if he ever caught himself telling the truth, he\'d lie just to keep his hand in.
C++: an octopus made by nailing extra legs onto a dog
My opinions might have changed, but not the fact that I am right.
Misunderstandings and neglect create more confusion in this world than trickery and malice. At any rate, the last two are certainly much less frequent.
All rights left. All lefts reserved. All reserves removed. All removes right.
There are two ways of constructing a software design; one way is to make it so simple that there are obviously no deficiencies, and the other way is to make it so complicated that there are no obvious deficiencies. The first method is far more difficult.
Sometimes a scream is better than a thesis.
Diplomacy is the art of saying \'Nice doggie!\'... \'til you can find a rock.
Hearing nuns\' confessions is like being stoned to death with popcorn.
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Computer dating is fine, if you\'re a computer.
It\'s dangerous to underestimate the intelligence of a customer who grew a business that\'s successful enough to require a large and complex set of software
We didn\'t lose the game; we just ran out of time.
Talk sense to a fool and he calls you foolish.
Talent does what it can; genius does what it must.
Believe those who are seeking the truth. Doubt those who find it.
Smoking is one of the leading causes of statistics.
War doesn\'t make boys men, it makes men dead.
We had gay burglars the other night. They broke in and rearranged the furniture.
Hanlon\'s Razor: Never attribute to malice that which can be adequately explained by stupidity.
Whether you think that you can, or that you can\'t, you are usually right.
We\'ve all heard that a million monkeys banging on a million typewriters will eventually reproduce the entire works of Shakespeare. Now, thanks to the Internet, we know this is not true.
Incrementing C by 1 is not enough to make a good object-oriented language.
Never test for an error condition you don\'t know how to handle.
I failed to make the chess team because of my height.
Momma always said life was like a box of chocolates. You never know what you\'re gonna get.
Death is a low chemical trick played on everybody except sequoia trees.
Opportunities multiply as they are seized.
Mr. Wagner has beautiful moments but bad quarters of an hour.
Humor is by far the most significant activity of the human brain.
I believe that sex is a beautiful thing between two people. Between five, it\'s fantastic.
The instinct of nearly all societies is to lock up anybody who is truly free. First, society begins by trying to beat you up. If this fails, they try to poison you. If this fails too, the finish by loading honors on your head.
I wouldn\'t mind dying - it\'s the business of having to stay dead that scares the shit out of me.
They show you how detergents take out bloodstains. I think if you\'ve got a T-shirt with bloodstains all over it, maybe your laundry isn\'t your biggest problem.
The wireless music box has no imaginable commercial value. Who would pay for a message sent to nobody in particular?
It is the job of thinking people not to be on the side of the executioners.
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What is morally wrong can never be advantageous, even when it enables you to make some gain that you believe to be to your advantage.
Only one man ever understood me, and he didn\'t understand me.
I am an expert of electricity. My father occupied the chair of applied electricity at the state prison.
Computer /nm./: a device designed to speed and automate errors.
It is better to be quotable than to be honest.
Man is the best computer we can put aboard a spacecraft... and the only one that can be mass produced with unskilled labor.
A man can\'t be too careful in the choice of his enemies.
The perfect computer has been developed. You just feed in your problems and they never come out again.
You cannot depend on your eyes when your imagination is out of focus.
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Getting an education was a bit like a communicable sexual disease. It made you unsuitable for a lot of jobs and then you had the urge to pass it on.
All are lunatics, but he who can analyze his delusion is called a philosopher.
The President has kept all of the promises he intended to keep.
Only a free and unrestrained press can effectively expose deception in government.
Patriotism means to stand by the country. It does not mean to stand by the president or any other public official...
Ah well, then I suppose I shall have to die beyond my means.
Everything that can be invented has been invented.
I do not consider it an insult, but rather a compliment to be called an agnostic. I do not pretend to know where many ignorant men are sure -- that is all that agnosticism means.
The most overlooked advantage of owning a computer is that if they foul up there\'s no law against whacking them around a bit.
I never forget a face, but in your case I\'ll be glad to make an exception.
We\'ve all heard that a million monkeys banging on a million typewriters will eventually reproduce the entire works of Shakespeare. Now, thanks to the Internet, we know this is not true.
Tragedy is when I cut my finger. Comedy is when you walk into an open sewer and die.
Raymond\'s Law of Software: Given a sufficiently large number of eyeballs, all bugs are shallow.
Of all the enemies to public liberty, war is perhaps the most to be dreaded because it comprises and develops the germ of every other.
C++: an octopus made by nailing extra legs onto a dog
Object-oriented programming is an exceptionally bad idea which could only have originated in California.
Paramount among the responsibilities of a free press is the duty to prevent any part of the government from deceiving the people.
They show you how detergents take out bloodstains. I think if you\'ve got a T-shirt with bloodstains all over it, maybe your laundry isn\'t your biggest problem.
A man can\'t be too careful in the choice of his enemies.
Ah well, then I suppose I shall have to die beyond my means.
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Java: the elegant simplicity of C++ and the blazing speed of Smalltalk.
I do not fear computers. I fear the lack of them.
Pascal /n./ A programming language named after a man who would turn over in his grave if he knew about it.
Not everything that can be counted counts, and not everything that counts can be counted.
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There are only two ways to live your life. One is as though nothing is a miracle. The other is as though everything is a miracle.
All truth passes through three stages. First, it is ridiculed. Second, it is violently opposed. Third, it is accepted as being self-evident.
Invading Iraq after 9/11 was like invading Mexico after Pearl Harbor.
Love: The warm feeling you get towards someone who meets your neurotic needs.
If FORTRAN has been called an infantile disorder, then PL/I must be classified as a fatal disease.
Misunderstandings and neglect create more confusion in this world than trickery and malice. At any rate, the last two are certainly much less frequent.
The instinct of nearly all societies is to lock up anybody who is truly free. First, society begins by trying to beat you up. If this fails, they try to poison you. If this fails too, the finish by loading honors on your head.
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Despite the high cost of living, it remains popular.
The only way to get rid of a temptation is to yield to it.
Anyone who starts a sentence, \'With all due respect ...\' is about to insult you.
Man is the best computer we can put aboard a spacecraft... and the only one that can be mass produced with unskilled labor.
What is morally wrong can never be advantageous, even when it enables you to make some gain that you believe to be to your advantage.
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A great many people think they are thinking when they are merely rearranging their prejudices.
I was married by a judge. I should have asked for a jury.
I have yet to meet a C compiler that is more friendly and easier to use than eating soup with a knife.
There\'s no trick to being a humorist when you have the whole government working for you.
Clothes make the man. Naked people have little or no influence on society.
No one can earn a million dollars honestly.
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I\'ve just learned about his illness. Let\'s hope it\'s nothing trivial.
Mr. Wagner has beautiful moments but bad quarters of an hour.
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It is dangerous to be sincere unless you are also stupid.
It is now possible for a flight attendant to get a pilot pregnant.
Glory is fleeting, but obscurity is forever.
Behind every successful man is a woman, behind her is his wife.
If people are good only because they fear punishment, and hope for reward, then we are a sorry lot indeed.
From the moment I picked your book up until I laid it down I was convulsed with laughter. Some day I intend reading it.
How wrong it is for a woman to expect the man to build the world she wants, rather than to create it herself.
Glory is fleeting, but obscurity is forever.
Defining and analyzing humor is a pastime of humorless people.
I\'m trying to see things from your point of view but I can\'t get my head that far up my ass.
I think \'Hail to the Chief\' has a nice ring to it.
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Computers are useless; they can only give you answers.
I begin by taking. I shall find scholars later to demonstrate my perfect right.
A picture is worth a thousand words (which is why it takes a thousand times longer to load...)
No one can earn a million dollars honestly.
Sex is like a Chinese dinner. It isn\'t over until everyone gets their cookies.
Not everything that can be counted counts, and not everything that counts can be counted.
I don\'t even butter my bread; I consider that cooking.
About the use of language: it is impossible to sharpen a pencil with a blunt axe. It is equally vain to try to do it with ten blunt axes instead.
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There is no idea so simple and powerful that you can\'t get zillions of people to misunderstand it.
The concept is interesting and well-formed, but in order to earn better than a \'C\', the idea must be feasible.
The difference between \'involvement\' and \'commitment\' is like an eggs-and-ham breakfast: the chicken was \'involved\' - the pig was \'committed\'.
The question of whether a computer can think is no more interesting than the question of whether a submarine can swim.
When his life was ruined, his family killed, his farm destroyed, Job knelt down on the ground and yelled up to the heavens, \'Why god? Why me?\' and the thundering voice of God answered, \'There\'s just something about you that pisses me off.\'
The only one listening to both sides of an argument is the neighbor in the next apartment
The opposite of a correct statement is a false statement. The opposite of a profound truth may well be another profound truth.
Everything secret degenerates, even the administration of justice.
A camel is a horse designed by a committee
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Why did God create dentists? -- In his infinite love, he thought it would be charitable to His creatures to let them see what Hell is like, during their lives.
You cannot depend on your eyes when your imagination is out of focus.
Good people do not need laws to tell them to act responsibly, while bad people will find a way around the laws.
War is not the continuation of politics with different means, it is the greatest mass-crime perpetrated on the community of man.
Copy from one, it\'s plagiarism; copy from two, it\'s research.
Heav\'n hath no rage like love to hatred turn\'d, Nor Hell a fury, like a woman scorn\'d.
A bird in the hand makes it hard to blow your nose.
We must all hear the universal call to like your neighbor like you like to be liked yourself.
Humor is a rubber sword - it allows you to make a point without drawing blood.
About the use of language: it is impossible to sharpen a pencil with a blunt axe. It is equally vain to try to do it with ten blunt axes instead.
A pessimist sees the difficulty in every opportunity; an optimist sees the opportunity in every difficulty.
Reality is merely an illusion, albeit a very persistent one.
The study of non-linear physics is like the study of non-elephant biology.
The opposite of a correct statement is a false statement. The opposite of a profound truth may well be another profound truth.
The shepherd always tries to persuade the sheep that their interests and his own are the same.
All our knowledge merely helps us to die a more painful death than animals that know nothing.
Wise men make proverbs, but fools repeat them.
To err is human, but to really foul things up you need a computer.
Oh for pity\'s sake. HERE. Two pebbles. Two more pebbles. FOUR pebbles. What is WRONG with you people?
Pray, v.: To ask that the laws of the universe be annulled on behalf of a single petitioner confessedly unworthy.
Invading Iraq after 9/11 was like invading Mexico after Pearl Harbor.
Happiness is good health and a bad memory.
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Deliver yesterday, code today, think tomorrow.
All rights left. All lefts reserved. All reserves removed. All removes right.
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Yes, I\'m fat, but you\'re ugly and I can go on a diet.
There is no idea so simple and powerful that you can\'t get zillions of people to misunderstand it.
We are Dyslexia of Borg. Fusistance is retile. Your ass will be laminated.
Absence of evidence is not evidence of absence.
Our government has kept us in a perpetual state of fear - kept us in a continuous stampede of patriotic fervor - with the cry of grave national emergency.
Quoting Coulter is kind of like quoting Joe McCarthy; no doubt it does well when you\'re pandering to a group of like-minded hate mongerers, but it earns you a well-deserved reputation as a vicious, mean-spirited airhead and intellecual lightweight in more analytical and dispassionate circles.
You have a cough? Go home tonight, eat a whole box of Ex-Lax -- tomorrow you\'ll be afraid to cough.
Fill what\'s empty, empty what\'s full, and scratch where it itches.
C++: an octopus made by nailing extra legs onto a dog
Puritanism: The haunting fear that someone, somewhere, may be happy.
It is the job of thinking people not to be on the side of the executioners.
All things are possible, except skiing through a revolving door.
Never raise your hands to your kids. It leaves your groin unprotected.
A scholar who cherishes the love of comfort is not fit to be deemed a scholar.
The only thing necessary for the triumph of evil is for good men to do nothing.
The most likely way for the world to be destroyed, most experts agree, is by accident. That\'s where we come in; we\'re computer professionals. We cause accidents.
Where are we going, and why am I in this handbasket?
If you can count your money, you don\'t have a billion dollars.
For centuries, theologians have been explaining the unknowable in terms of the-not-worth-knowing.
If you want to make an apple pie from scratch, you must first create the universe.
Attention to health is life\'s greatest hindrance.
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Is your argument that the Creator of the Universe was working under a deadline and His manager forced Him to rush inefficient designs into production?
If it weren\'t for electricity we\'d all be watching television by candlelight.
If it wasn\'t for lawyers, we wouldn\'t need them.
Computer /nm./: a device designed to speed and automate errors.
A sure cure for seasickness is to sit under a tree.
If quantum physics doesn\'t confuse you then you don\'t understand it.
Cholesterol is your natural defence against excessive circulation of blood, which can carry venoms, poisons and other toxins around your body.
Mr. Wagner has beautiful moments but bad quarters of an hour.
Rarely is the question asked: Is our children learning?
There are some experiences in life which should not be demanded twice from any man, and one of them is listening to the Brahms Requiem.
C makes it easy to shoot yourself in the foot; C++ makes it harder, but when you do, it blows away your whole leg.
A narcissist is someone better looking than you are.
Richard Nixon is a no good, lying bastard. He can lie out of both sides of his mouth at the same time, and if he ever caught himself telling the truth, he\'d lie just to keep his hand in.
Puritanism: The haunting fear that someone, somewhere, may be happy.
Emulate your heros, but don\'t carry it too far. Especially if they are dead.
Money is better than poverty, if only for financial reasons.
I\'d stop eating chocolate, but I\'m no quitter.
A lady came up to me on the street, pointed at my suede jacket and said, \'Don\'t you know a cow was murdered for that jacket?\' I said \'I didn\'t know there were any witnesses. Now I\'ll have to kill you too\'.
It\'s the liberal bias. The press is liberally biased to the right.
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In all large corporations, there is a pervasive fear that someone, somewhere is having fun with a computer on company time. Networks help alleviate that fear.
When I am working on a problem I never think about beauty. I only think about how to solve the problem. But when I have finished, if the solution is not beautiful, I know it is wrong.
A printer consists of three main parts: the case, the jammed paper tray and the blinking red light
Subtlety is the art of saying what you think and getting out of the way before it is understood.
We will not learn how to live together in peace by killing each other\'s children.
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A sense of humor is part of the art of leadership, of getting along with people, of getting things done.
The difference between pornography and erotica is lighting.
The study of non-linear physics is like the study of non-elephant biology.
Imagine if every Thursday your shoes exploded if you tied them the usual way. This happens to us all the time with computers, and nobody thinks of complaining.
Mit der Dummheit k?mpfen G?tter selbst vergebens
There\'s no trick to being a humorist when you have the whole government working for you.
The most important job is not to be Governor, or First Lady in my case.
Conservatives are not necessarily stupid, but most stupid people are conservatives
If people are good only because they fear punishment, and hope for reward, then we are a sorry lot indeed.
Minsky\'s Second Law: Don\'t just do something. Stand there.
Be nice to people on your way up because you meet them on your way down.
We need either less corruption or more chance to participate in it.
Glory is fleeting, but obscurity is forever.
We totally deny the allegations, and we are trying to identify the allegators.
It is much more comfortable to be mad and know it, than to be sane and have one\'s doubts.
The company doesn\'t tell me what to say, and I don\'t tell themwhere to stick it.
Every nation has its war party. It is not the party of democracy. It is the party of autocracy. It seeks to dominate absolutely.
The shepherd always tries to persuade the sheep that their interests and his own are the same.
The dangerous patriot ... is a defender of militarism and its ideals of war and glory.
I just bought a Mac to help me design the next Cray.
The problem with people who have no vices is that generally you can be pretty sure they\'re going to have some pretty annoying virtues.
My advice to you is get married: if you find a good wife you\'ll be happy; if not, you\'ll become a philosopher.
Lohr\'s Law: The future is merely the past with a twist ? and better tools.
You never really learn to swear until you learn to drive.
Diplomacy is the art of saying \'Nice doggie!\'... \'til you can find a rock.
One morning I shot a bear in my pajamas. How it got into my pajamas I\'ll never know.
Throughout American history, the government has said we\'re in an unprecedented crisis and that we must live without civil liberties until the crisis is over. It\'s a hoax.
Misunderstandings and neglect create more confusion in this world than trickery and malice. At any rate, the last two are certainly much less frequent.
A man\'s only as old as the woman he feels.
It is dangerous to be right when the government is wrong.
Politics is the art of looking for trouble, finding it everywhere, diagnosing it incorrectly, and applying the wrong remedies.
Everybody wants to go to heaven, but nobody wants to die.
A lie gets halfway around the world before the truth has a chance to get its pants on.
If electricity comes from electrons, does that mean that morality comes from morons?
There are some experiences in life which should not be demanded twice from any man, and one of them is listening to the Brahms Requiem.
I hate those men who would send into war youth to fight and die for them; the pride and cowardice of those old men, making their wars that boys must die.
Rarely is the question asked: Is our children learning?
Hofstadter\'s Law: It always takes longer than you expect, even when you take into account Hofstadter\'s Law.
Life is pleasant. Death is peaceful. It\'s the transition that\'s troublesome.
Under conditions of competition, standards are set by the morally least reputable agent.
The chain reaction of evil -- wars producing more wars -- must be broken, or we shall be plunged into the dark abyss of annihilation.
Cholesterol is your natural defence against excessive circulation of blood, which can carry venoms, poisons and other toxins around your body.
Anything that is too stupid to be spoken is sung.
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Once is happenstance. Twice is coincidence. Three times is enemy action.
It is the job of thinking people not to be on the side of the executioners.
To err is human, but to really foul things up you need a computer.
Programming today is a race between software engineers striving to build bigger and better idiot-proof programs, and the Universe trying to produce bigger and better idiots. So far, the Universe is winning.
The dangerous patriot ... is a defender of militarism and its ideals of war and glory.
Defining and analyzing humor is a pastime of humorless people.
The secret of creativity is knowing how to hide your sources.
Total absence of humor renders life impossible.
Human history becomes more and more a race between education and catastrophe.
I criticize by creation - not by finding fault.
I want to die in my sleep like my grandfather... not screaming and yelling like the passengers in his car...
Forgive your enemies, but never forget their names.
If you try and take a cat apart to see how it works, the first thing you have in your hands is a non-working cat.
The right to swing my fist ends where the other man\'s nose begins.
Everybody wants to go to heaven, but nobody wants to die.
Everyone is a genius at least once a year; a real genius has his original ideas closer together.
Just because bulldozers are used to build highways doesn\'t mean bulldozers are the best way to travel on a highway.
Men have become the tools of their tools.
Machine. Unexpectedly, I\'d invented a time
Did you ever walk in a room and forget why you walked in? I think that\'s how dogs spend their lives.
God is a comedian playing to an audience too afraid to laugh.
Genius may have its limitations, but stupidity is not thus handicapped.
Many a man\'s reputation would not know his character if they met on the street.
When I was a kid I used to pray every night for a new bicycle. Then I realised that the Lord doesn\'t work that way so I stole one and asked Him to forgive me.
If I were two-faced, would I be wearing this one?
We\'re going to turn this team around 360 degrees.
I don\'t believe in the after life, although I am bringing a change of underwear.
The fear of death is the most unjustified of all fears, for there\'s no risk of accident for someone who\'s dead.
All things are possible, except skiing through a revolving door.
The wireless music box has no imaginable commercial value. Who would pay for a message sent to nobody in particular?
I choose a block of marble and chop off whatever I don\'t need.
Talk sense to a fool and he calls you foolish.
Rarely is the question asked: Is our children learning?
Am I lightheaded because I\'m not dead or because I\'m still alive?
Real life is that big, high-res, high-color screen saver behind all the windows.
I\'m all in favor of keeping dangerous weapons out of the hands of fools. Let\'s start with typewriters.
There are only two tragedies in life: one is not getting what one wants, and the other is getting it.
The perfect computer has been developed. You just feed in your problems and they never come out again.
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When I told the people of Northern Ireland that I was an atheist, a woman in the audience stood up and said, \'Yes, but is it the God of the Catholics or the God of the Protestants in whom you don\'t believe?
As nightfall does not come at once, neither does oppression. In both instances, there is a twilight when everything remains unchanged. And it is in such twilight that we all must be most aware of change in the air ? however slight ? lest we become unwitting victims of the darkness.
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You\'ll notice that Nancy Reagan never drinks water when Ronnie speaks.
Real punks help little old ladies across the street because it shocks more people than if they spit on the sidewalk.
Military glory -- that attractive rainbow, that rises in showers of blood -- that serpent\'s eye, that charms to destroy...
I have seen the future and it is just like the present, only longer.
Gigerenzer\'s Law of Indispensable Ignorance: The world cannot function without partially ignorant people.
Why did God create dentists? -- In his infinite love, he thought it would be charitable to His creatures to let them see what Hell is like, during their lives.
It has become appallingly obvious that our technology has exceeded our humanity.
Glory is fleeting, but obscurity is forever.
Giving birth is like taking your lower lip and forcing it over your head.
The opposite of a correct statement is a false statement. The opposite of a profound truth may well be another profound truth.
最終更新日 : 2012/01/26/(Thu) 10:28
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